queenmaleficents
  • Old life alert commercials: Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!
  • New life alert commercials: WE THREW THIS GRANDMA DOWN SOME STAIRS
  • Old life alert commercials: All. Senior. Citizens. Should. Have. Life Alert.
  • New life alert commercials: SHE'S GOING TO DIE ON THE FLOOR AND THERE'S NOTHNG ANYONE COULD DO ABOUT IT, IF ONLY SOMEONE LOVED HER ENOUGH TO BUY HER LIFE ALERT
  • Old life alert commercials: I'm C. Everett Koop. I'm former surgeon general, I look like a muppet, and I wear one too!
  • New life alert commercials: THIS GRANDMA'S FATE IS SEALED. IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF SUCH A TRAGEDY WERE TO BEFALL YOUR GRANDMA TOO.
andythelemon

bellecosby:

I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store.